Exclusive:>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Carolyn Robinson, 55, suffered
horrendous sexual abuse at the
hands of her alcoholic father. This
caused her a lifetime of anxiety,
depression and eating disorders as
she kept her past secret from her
family and friends. She tells Closer
about her ordeal as her book is
released. This are your words >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 'I can still see myself in my bedroom as a
child, my tiny legs thrashing on the bed. I
was about 11 or 12, and my father was
sexually abusing me.
When this used to happen I would stare at
the window, or something in my room,
just to pretend it wasn't happening, that I
My brother, who died years ago following
a long addiction to heroin and alcohol,
remembers coming in on one such
occasion when he was five and hearing
me crying. He said he ran up and down
the stairs as loudly as he could so
someone would hear him and maybe the
abuse would stop. But it never did.
He was just 41 when he died and he
never managed to get the help he needed
to fight his demons. I was devastated
when I found out he was doing drugs. I
fetched him several times and got him
clean, and the final time he had agreed to
come and live with us permanently, but
he ran out of time.
'My first kiss was stolen from
me, I couldn't dance with
boys, couldn't have proper
relationships - everything
was a constant struggle.'
For years I lost out on all the normal
parts of teenage life. My first kiss was
stolen from me, I couldn't dance with
boys, couldn't have proper relationships -
everything was a constant struggle.
The problem with incest, or any kind of
abuse within the family, is that there are
so many mixed emotions. You still love
that person in a way - they are your
family member - despite what they're
doing to you.
I idolised my father, I thought he was the
best dad in the world, and I was closer to
him than I ever was to my mother - who
never seemed that bothered by me.
But despite my idolisation, he was a cruel
man who took my childhood away from
me, and changed the course of my life
'Telling my family about my
ordeal was very hard...But
they love you and they will
accept you as you are'
I struggled constantly with depression,
anxiety and eating disorders, until I
eventually had a full on break down in
2000. I had to leave work, and that was
the point where I was finally given the
therapy I needed.
Telling my family about my ordeal was
very hard, especially for my son (now 34),
who struggled with the idea that I had
been through that. But they love you and
they will accept you as you are.
Now, at 55, I have reclaimed my life. I
have an amazing family, two children and
several grandchildren, I had a successful
career in London for years, and I've just
written my own book.
I want my story to be a message to people
who have had this hurt in their lives - it's
not too late, you can have a life, a happy
life. Just make sure you get the help you
*Carolyn was prescribed EMDR
(eye movement desensitisation
and reprocessing therapy)
*It's used for treatment of post
traumatic stress disorder,
especially with soldiers
*Ideal for those who experienced
severe trauma that remains
*In Carolyn's case, she was asked
to pick a trusted person who
she would 'take with her'
through the parts of her
memory she was too scared to
visit. Upon doing so, therapists
are able to unlock traumatic
events that have been essentially
'locked up' for decades....................................you can
Buy Carolyn's book The Silent Amongst Us by this link.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>www.amazon.co.uk/The-Silent-Amongst-Carolyn-Robinson/dp/3710318858